Heavy Laden*

So this morning at around 4 (I had been sleeping on and off due to this stupid cough that decides to railroad me when I turn in for bed) I woke up and had the HUGEST sneeze ever. Yes folks, blew green snot all over the side of the bed. Spectacular! Scared my dog to death. I went to the restroom, got some toilet paper (I'm fresh out of Kleenex) and went back to bed to clean it up. But this, my friends, is only the beginning. As I'm rolling out the TP, I think of a song (yes people, I'm that much of a dork). It goes to the tune of an old hymn (can't remember the name, but the real word to the chorus are: ye that labor and are heavy laden, lean upon your dear Lord's breast, ye that labor and are heavy laden come and I will give you rest). I like my version better today:

"Ye that are congested
Kleenex heavy laden,
Be careful which way you turn your nose.
Ye that sneeze until you blow your brains out
You will sneeze until the antibiotics kick in."

And so ensued my day of relentless sneezing.

I get to work and I'm sitting in my holed-up corner... and here comes another sneeze. Like the first, I didn't expect it to blow green snot everywhere, but alas I couldn't have been more wrong. I turned my head to the right (so as not to sneeze on the left side of my desk... it's L shaped, you getting the picture?) and SNEEZED so hard - and that's when I heard the *SPLAT*. My green mucous decided to land happily on the plastic mat with a HUGE *SPLAT* sound. I started laughing. Oh yes - laughing. Then I realized that at any moment my boss could come in and see this hideous ameoba of snot on my floor mat and I quickly dove for the Kleenex box (I have two boxes of Kleenex on my desk, on to the left and one to the right) so as to clean up my nose's mess.

All's well that ends well... unless you still have a sinus infection even after you sneeze your brains out.

HA! You guys just read a story about snot!! HA! That's hilarious!!!