Tie a Red Ribbon around Ram Week

Dude. Last night a good friend deemed me "over commited." And I think he's right. I nearly lost it. I think mostly because I'm WAY too tired right now. After last weeks marathon of sleepless nights... I'm bushed. And last night wasn't too much better. I had a terrible nightmare. Woke up angry. I hate that. I was yelling at my dog this morning... it was aweful.

We used to have red ribbon week at school, you remember? "Say No to Drugs." Well, I need a red ribbon. "Say No to You." No, I will not teach 2's on Sunday night for the fall quarter and co-lead the singles group and coach a volleyball team (without realizing it would be a 6 hour a week commitment). But did I say no? No. I didn't. I want to coach volleyball and I want to lead the singles. But I don't want to teach 2's. And I don't want to work extra hours at work. And I don't want to do... etc., etc., etc.

We had a ministry meeting last night for all the singles at Prestoncrest. S, K and I have each adopted an area of ministry to organize and head up. To make a long story short, I have the biggest one: IN reach, the one most people are interested in participating in due to the nature of it. So we're all sitting around, everyone's throwing out great ideas and we get to the part where *GASP* people need to take on a specific task. TAKE ON SOME RESPONSIBILITY. And NO ONE takes anything on. NO ONE. So I feel the need to explain that since we have so many people interested that no one should feel burdened... we can all take on small projects. Not one person has to take on the world... still no one stepped up.

Afterward, a friend came up and said, "You know L, I know you try to take on everything by yourself because you feel like you have to. And I'm the same way. But if you ever need anything, you just let me know and I'll do it. All you have to do is ask."

Can I just say that last night I was too tired to be pissed, but today I'm thinking it ticks me off a little. Really? You're the same way? If you were wouldn't you have felt the need to step up when NO ONE ELSE WOULD?

I'm coming to the conclusion that I'm an idiot. Plan and simple. An idiot. A fool. But if no one else does it, who will? Who will do it.

So here I sit overwhelmed. And yeah, I'm going to delegate. I'm gonna. But it sucks. Because there's a bigger issue at hand here and no one gets it.

I need to pray for a better attitude today.

I need a red ribbon. I need a better attitude. We need better hearts. Willing hearts. And we need grace.

We need grace.