Yes, I'll have some cheese with my whine...

Man. I miss blogging. I have been terribly neglectful. I usually blog on my off times at work... but lately I've know that there wouldn't be enough time to get what I wanted on the screen so I've denied myself the pleasure of writing completely. I don't blog at home usually because my computer is a piece.

So here we are - the keyboard and I, the blank screen waiting for my keystrokes to fill it in.

Now what? Today I feel there is so much to say and nothing to say at all. Ha. Isn't that how it usually goes? I applied for 7 (or maybe 8? can't remember) jobs yesterday. We'll see what happens there. I need to finish getting the stuff together to print inviations... yeah, have to wait to get paid to do that.

You know, I feel I'm running on empty. There are several reasons for this: 1) I give, give, give all day and never have anything left for myself. 2) I haven't been getting enough sleep that past three weeks (except for during my time off for the holidays). 3) I'm just tired. 4) I'm REALLY tired of irritating stuff.

"What's irritating?" you might ask. Well #1 on the list right now is not being listened to. I'm heard (sometimes) but not listened to. My boss is notorious for this. It drives me INSANE. My Dad is good at this also. He's always so dog-gone tired. There is A HUGE difference between listening and hearing. Most people can hear... but most people aren't listening.

When I'm tired and am annoyed or frustrated (OR JUST TIRED) I get to where even if a question is asked I will give the most simple and vague answers because I don't want to go through the hassle of explaining and re-explaining myself (which I find myself doing all the time).

Ug. I just realized I'm more like my Dad in this way that I'd like to be.

On the the next subject: I'm just not sure what to do about church. I really don't. I am not going to sit around and feel sorry for myself, but it makes me ill what's going on (because of the people it affects) and I'm not sure what to do about it as of right now. I think I might know who I need to talk to about it... we'll see what happens there.

Next subject: I need to do about 100 things a day until March and I didn't get any of them done yesterday and I probably won't get as much done tonight as I should.

AND...

I just want to be closer to him. Gosh. I'm tired of spending too much money on my cell phone bill and being so far away. I know, I know. I sound like a cry baby. Really though, I'm not. I'm just overwhelmed today and would like to see him and won't get to until tomorrow.

I'm stopping here. I thought of 5 intelligent things I could write about today and I haven't written on one of them.