Friday, May 06, 2005

I found it!

I found out Wednesday that I did not get into the graduate school of my choice. I was not one of "The 8." Needless to say, I was devastated. This is what I have been planning on for three years now, even though when I sit really still and wonder at why it is I'm wanting to go here and wanting to do this I can't tell you why. I though it was a calling. And, maybe in some rights it is and could be. I believe I could do a great many things and do them well. But today I had an epiphany.

My whole life I have been drawn to the arts. I love to create things. I love to draw and paint. I love to write. I love to look at artwork and admire and critique. Its fascinating. I love the sciences, I always have, my whole life... for as long as I can remember. The reason I love to read Ray Bradbury is because he writes with such great artistry and he paints such beautiful pictures in his fantastic scientific worlds. My best loved teachers have been my art and science teachers. The most influential teachers, one in-particular, Mrs. Labeth of Central Elementary, my grade school art teacher, has influenced my thinking throughout my school years.

While in college, I used to have to walk through the art building to get to my speech-path classes. EVERY DAY I would stop to see the displays of the students. EVERY DAY I walked by and asked myself why I wasn't minoring or double-majoring in art... even if just for the fun of it... because I enjoy it. On several occasions I picked up a degree plan, but when thinking of the extra time I would have to spend in school and all the extra money spent on the private school education... well, needless to say I dropped the idea completely. I also had a professor who insisted that we not minor in anything... that speech-path be our one and only priority. So it was. My senior year I looked into the field of medical illustration. All the schools I found online were in Georgia or Chicago or Boston and I had no desire to go there and my significant other at the time would not have gone there even if I had wanted to. I did figure out though that it was something I could do on the side with speech-path... and it was something I desired to do. But because the schools were not in reach, the dream seemed out of reach.

So, I applied to graduated/doctoral school in the field of audiology because to be quite frank, I don't want to practice speech-path. Its an amazing field. I have great respect for it and the amazing things that can be accomplished, but I don't have the desire anymore. I can't tell you why, but its been diminishing for quite some time now and I haven't been willing to admit it. When all that time and money have been invested, why change right? So, now I have a degree that I won't use! Hooray!

Today has been a day of many revelations. I found out that a school here in Dallas does in fact offer medical illustration as a graduate program and that its accredited at that! Its only a two year program. I can make good money doing it. I can combine the things I love: science and art and love every minute of it.

I know my parents and the whole world are going to think I've thrown a gasket, but I don't think with all the other coincidences this week... well, they're not coincidences. There is a higher power working.

So, two days ago (and really, for two years now) I felt lost and a little misguided. But now I feel a sense of renewed strength and purpose. And that my friends is priceless... even if your useless degree won't be paid off for awhile.

1 comment:

rambouillet said...

I'm so glad some besides my friend Ashley is REALLY excited for me!!! Thanks for your encouragement. It means alot!