Thursday, December 22, 2005

Stockings!!! (but not the fishnet kind)

My bizzle the Beef had the pleasure of going home before Mark and I. We're spending Christmas with Mark's family and New Year's with mine. I spoke with the Beef today (which was good... I've been missing him this week) and he said that Mom went out and bought the whole family new stockings!!!

Ok, so some people get new stockings ever year and some people don't even use their stockings... but at OUR house stockings rule supreme.

Every Christmas morning for as long as I can remember (even if we were in a hotel room) Santa has made SURE to fill our stockings with all kinds of goodies. I get more excited about what's in my stocking than what I get in wrapped boxes! Of course, I had to get the low down from Beef (how can I go a week without knowing what my new stocking looks like... how will I know which one Santa set aside for me?!?!?! This is IMPORTANT STUFF people!!!!)

So, here's the rundown on the stocking situation at my parent's house:
Dad: I've been informed that his stocking has Santa on it. :)
Mom: her stocking has an angel on it
Me: my stocking has penguins and hearts on it (and the Beef said the penguins look VERY happy)
Killjoy: his stocking has reindeer on it, oh what fun!
Beef: his is very manly with the bears on it... hehe
And last but not least... drumroll please cause this is AWESOME!!!!!
Mark: YES!!! My mom bought Mark a stocking!!!! I'M SO EXCITED!!! his stocking has a snowman and a penguin on it. (I think Mom did that on purpose... since my has penguins on it with hearts... his has a penguin and a snowman. How cleaver (or she may not have thought about it at all and I'm being completely twitterpated, either case it's way too much fun!)

I had to call Mark at lunch and tell him about the stocking situation. He thought it was as cool that he had one! I'm so glad!

Beef is a little offended because the stockings are hung in this order: Dad, Mom, me, Killjoy, Mark and Beef. I guess I would feel a little annoyed as well! Mark ranks above Beef now?!?!

Anyway, I LOVE stockings and am so EXCITED to see what they look like and see them haning by the chimney. I wonder what amazing things Santa has for our stockings this year... hmmm... I'll have to spend a WHOLE WEEK before I find out. We told Santa not to come to our house until New Year's when we're all together.

Friday, December 16, 2005

Another Dissapointment

I didn't get the job. Suprise, suprise. And I prepared myself for not getting it so explain to me why I cried about it???? And I don't want to hear from anyone that "God will provide"... I just don't. It's not like I don't know that. But I don't want to hear it. Not now.

This has been the year of dissapointments. I'm a dissapointment my life events are dissapointments. The hits just keep on coming.

So on with the job hunt.

Today is going by about as fast as molassas. On top of feeling like an cow and thinking about the things I need to do to not look like a cow I feel like eating the house down this week. It's driving me crazy.

And if anyone in this office brings up the fact that Mark and I have not had sex I think I'll go postal on them. POSTAL. Leave me alone. Yeah, I made a decision and you can shove your opinion about it right up your...

What the heck? What the stinkin heck? Beef and I were talking the other day and it's like our family has the worst luck of anyone. I won't get into why right now. That's a post for later.

I'm tired. I want to go to bed when I get home but I can't. I have to clean up the casarole that my roommate has left sitting out for 3 days. THREE DAYS!!!!! The dishes are piled in the sink and it SMELLS. I haven't been home to clean it up and I got home last night and was nearly knocked over by the smell. I'm tired of cleaning up for people. At work, at home and in EVERYTHING. Once I clean up the place, then I get to drive to Fort Worth. I want to see my friend but I don't want to drive. I don't want to. I feel like I spend all my time in my car or at work.

I'm tired of driving half way across the metroplex to see people.

And this whole Prestoncrest thing just hurts. It hurts. And there's nothing anyone can do because you can't make people change.

I'm tired and I want to go to bed, but it's only 3:12 pm and I have to work until at least 5.

Days like these I want to crawl in a dark hole and never come out. It's been building for a while now...

If only I could be as cool as this roo. What would life to be like to be a kangaroo? Hmmmm... interesting I'm sure.

Thursday, December 15, 2005

Beef, Discom and Ram - A Meeting of the Minds

Last night, the fab trio listed in the above got together for dinner. TGIFriday's wasa happenin' place let me tell ya.

We talked for 2 1/2 hours... I think our waiter thought we were never going to leave! But we had a GREAT time and stimulating discussion. I think our plot to overthrow Scott's evil regime in Hawaii is complete!

Discom - THANK YOU. You know what I'm talking about... THANK YOU.

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Through the looking glass

I feel like a cow. I tried on wedding dresses last week and I looked terrible. I certainly didn't look like the models I have seen so many of in bridal magazines. I need to tone up and loose some weight. I need to sit up straight.

I wish I were only a few inches taller. That would solve alot of my problem. For instance, my friend and I weigh the same but because she's 5'8" she look skinny and great and I look like a cow. There are some days I hate being short SOOOOOOOOO bad.

My arms: why is it that both sides of our families have big arms??? TINY wrists and huge upper arms. TINY feet and big thighs. UG.

I hate it when I get so overwhelmed with appearance. I'm bombarded at work and these bridal magazines aren't helping either. There's only anorexic people and dresses I can't afford.

I HATE feeling this way. HATE it. But I don't know how to make it go away.

The indulgence is sickening...

Em just got a package at the office. I heard her having a heart attack all the way back in my office.

Her sugar daddy (no, seriously) just sent her a $1000 gift card to Nordstrom and a Dolce&gabbana handbag and wallet.


Need I say more?

Tuesday, December 13, 2005


Wow. I think I need a break. I can't hardly concentrate. Every time I think of one thing I need to get done I'm hit with the thought of the other 100 things that need to be done as well.

I have moved my laptop (at work) to the back office so that I can shut the door and get the checklists for training done(I'm training the girl that will take my place - if I get this other job. If I don't, she'll be here to help take some of the load off.) I am going 90 to nothing and there's no way I can think about stopping til I at least have some of the stuff in my head organized and on paper.

Wedding: WOW. Two and a half months to get this thing done. And I would rather run off to Vegas or some chapel in Arkansas. Oh well. And we're already behind and everyone has their opinion of what should happen when and where and how much it should cost and... BLAH BLAH BLAH.

Work: Training is exhausting. I don't think I truly realized how much I do here until I had to start training someone else on how to do it. I do ALOT of stuff here. Really and truly, I do what everyone else doesn't - AND THAT'S NO EXAGGERATION.

Personal: I'm tired of being hurt by the Church. I really am. So there goes Prestoncrest... down the drain. Oy. Can't really elaborate on that one right now. Among other things... I'm trying to get New Year's plans together and I can't do that until I know whether or not I got the job. And I need to find a home for Sydney and I need to figure out Christmas presents and I need to get my dress ordered and I need to meet with some people I haven't in awhile...

O.k. must get back to work - but I had to have some mental release.


Thursday, December 08, 2005

*O Christmas Tree...

Well, yesterday my boss sent us all home because she was afraid of the weather situation. We had sleet that was supposed to freeze. So in lew of working I decided to put up my christmas tree. I had previously decided not to put it up... but yesterday I had a change of heart.

My tree reminds me much of the tree Charlie Brown made up in his christmas special. It's not a huge tree (I put it on the dining table) and the ornaments aren't expensive. But you know, I think those are the best kinds of trees.

My parents tree (growing up) consisted of ornaments we gave each other and ornaments we made growing up. It's the best tree in the world. For christmas, I would love to decorate the tree with my family again. THAT would be the best christmas present ever.

Oh and I have to give props to Sydney for helping me decorate so well. :)

Monday, December 05, 2005

THAT clocks' a tickin'

It seems wherever I go lately I'm around little kids or babies. *sigh* And I have NEVER been one to talk about maternal clocks and all that crap... but...

I can't believe I'm going to say this...

here we go...

I want a baby. Yeah. There I said it. I don't want one right now... I've just been thinking about it ALOT.

I'm insane. I know.

I have these friends that got pregnant on their honeymoon (that's kinda sweet you know... if you're ready... and if you're not, God will take care of it.) Anyway, she is SOOOOOO excited and he is SOOOOOOO excited and it's the cutest thing ever!!! I'm SO happy for them! They are WAAAAAY too cute for words.

The whole idea of two people coming together to create life (by the grace of God I might add...) is amazing to me. It is TOTALLY by the grace of God men and woman can be together in the first place (as different as they are) and it's even MORE amazing that their union can create a living being!!! Holy cow! It blows my mind!!! It must be cool. I don't know if I'll ever experiance that (the baby thing) but we'll see what God has in store.

Here's a rant/question: Why the HECK are women who can't take care of their children properly allowed to have children and women who would give their life for their children barren???

Anyway... will blog more later. Need to jet for the time being.

Friday, December 02, 2005

It's not worth it Roy!

It's December and there's no snow. It's not even cold. How lame is that? I have no desire to put up a Christmas tree when it's warm outside. I'm sure eventually I'll come around... but in the meantime I feel kinda "Ba Humbug" about it.

If there were snow in front of my apartment I would build a snowman city! Then I'd set Sydney at post to watch them! I deck her out in yule-tide (sp?) camouflage and arm her with an M16. Then incidences like this one below would never happen...

The next cartoon makes me think of Dad. I think he usually has a look like that on his face with all the crazies he gets at the clinic!

Thursday, December 01, 2005

Holy cow... and other mysteries

Planning a wedding is like asking for Chinese torture... or banging your head against the wall repeatedly. It's such an emotional deal and everyone has their opinion.

My stomach has been KILLING me the last two days. The last two nights I've been unable to sleep. How ridiculous. I wasn't stressed until two days ago. Dang it all.

Really the main thing is money. If you had and unlimited budget then things would be so much simpler.

Holy cow. I'm about ready to run off by ourselves, but then that makes the situation look bad because we've only known each other 4 months and our families are tripping out and they really should be there and be a part. And I want them to be. But this is stress.

Really. I feel like I need to puke.