Maybe my faith isn't what it ought to be. And what ought it be? It seems I don't understand anything. Mark brings a different viewpoint of God to the table, which helps me a lot - usually. But sometimes I fear it doesn't. After all, if every good thing any person ever gets is from God, where is my great, perfect and wonderful job? Why can't I know what it is I'm supposed to be doing? I am trying to be open, I feel I have been open. I just don't know. Could He be with-holding it because of my lack of faith? But which of those makes sense with what my perception, my knowledge of God?
I am not ungrateful at all. I have a wonderful husband and a wonderful family and friends... I just wish I knew what I was called to do in a day to day situation involving a paycheck.
Arg. It's frustrating. I want to be doing something to glorify Him, that helps other people... that is fun and creative. But what? What is it? I don't want to go back to school, I don't even know what I'd go back for anyway...
I would appreciate your prayers on this matter. Maybe it's a "me" issue. Maybe I'm not doing what I ought and so I'm not being revealed what I feel I should. I guess that's the issue... the "I."
1 comment:
You gets some prayers, for sure.
Wish I had answers, or a clue - but all I can offer is a big "what what" for posting a picture of my man Milton.
I'd even let you borrow (I said BORROW) my Tahoma Red Swingline Special Edition Stapler.
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