Thursday, April 14, 2005

Bulls & Heifers

I decided to ask my Dad about the male phenomenon the other day due to a certain situation (regarding a male) that has me quite puzzled and in a constant state of perplexity. This is what he told me:

"Well, when the bulls recognize that there is a genetically superior heifer in the herd, they will compete for her attention. When I was that bull and I saw that the other bulls were nosing around, competing for that superior heifer's attention, I would back off. I don't like to play games. Maybe that's his problem, he just doesn't want to fight with the other bulls. He'd rather play it straight."


Or something of the like. Anyway, you get the idea... (and for all of you scratching your heads right now, wondering what the heck is wrong with my family - I'd like to say thanks because we've never taken to being like everyone else anyway.) Ladies, you may be wondering how I was not gravely offended by my father's comparison of me to a heifer... but let's get one thing straight here, I'm not just any heifer, I'm a "genetically superior" heifer and that has to earn points somewhere, right? Bulls can smell the perfume of my sweet genetics for miles... aaaaahhhhh, can't ya smell it?

Let me take a moment to thank my father for all his wisdom and insight over the years. Thanks, Dad. You really know how to 'splain it good.

2 comments:

rambouillet said...

Writer... I must agree. I have one of the wisest and most wonderful dads to walk God's green earth.
Ha, Pepaw, ying yangs and cows. Its still astonishing...

GreatBeefalo said...

I'm like Ferdinand the bull in the old cartoon who just liked to smell the flowers...except I smell the sweet, sweet smell of gunsmoke instead. that cartoon is a classic. Man, I need to watch it.