Saturday, June 25, 2005

PetSmart's Not-So-Smart

I was in PetSmart this morning on the dog treat isle looking at treats for Sydney. I knew exactly which treats to get. I knew exactly where to find them. I was not looking for any other treats or dog food; if I was I would have asked. Out of no where comes this woman. In my hands I had the Science Diet Jerky treats Sydney likes so well and a bottle of gravy to put on dog food as an occasional treat (I decided this might be a fun thing to try).

"Can I help you find any dog food today?" she asked.
"No thanks. I already know exactly what I'm getting."

At that right there, she should have been smart and turned around and walked off. But alas, she inspected what I had in my hand and immediately started her full assault about the evils of Science Diet and the terrors of adding calories to dog food when trying to get them to eat.

"If your dog isn't eating, you might try the canned dog food instead of adding calories to the dry food with gravy."
"Actually, I was only going to use it as an occasional treat." I said sardonically.

She gave me a queer look and continued on... some percentages about Iams dog food (I made the mistake of telling her my intent of buying it) and how it has 66% less ya ya and blah bidy blah blah crap. Whatever lady. I looked to my left for relief, but my brother made his way to the other end of the isle leaving me to crusade for Iams by myself. When she finally shut up, I continued to the end of the isle, picked up a box of Milk Bones, went a few isles over and picked up the sensitive digestive Iams in the red sack. My bro and I walked down the center isle of PetSmart and when I spotted The Lady sitting by her brand of dog food I tried to catch her eye and smile, just to piss her off. She wouldn't look at me but she did make sure to assess to the contents of my cart. Yeah lady, Iams stands for (as my bro stated later): "I AM Sick of you're crap!"

I was venting to my brother in the Jeep on the way out. What I wanted to say to her was:

"Lady, if my Dad thinks that these dog treats are good enough for our dogs at home; if my Dad thinks that it's o.k. for my Sydney who has a jacked up stomach... then it's o.k. because he's the best damn veterinarian on God's green earth so shut the #$*#$#& up. If he's been a veterinarian for 7 years and is already President of New Mexico's veterinary association AND HAS BEEN VOTED NEW MEXICO'S VETERINARIAN OF THE YEAR then I think the food and treats he recommends are o.k. SO SHUT-UP. Just shut your liberal thinking, PETA loving pie hole."

Anyway, I've never been accosted so at PetSmart but that was enough molestation to last a year or so. I should send this to PetSmart. They may loose a client. I just want to buy my dog food and get out. Leave me alone.

1 comment:

GreatBeefalo said...

I was just trying to avoid supplementing the woman's face with the Backhand of Holy Smiting. It would have been bad, cause then the PETA people would show up and I would have to karate chop them all to death. Then there would be this big pile o' bodies and Petsmart wouldnt get any business, all because I didnt walk down the aisle. See? Now THATS forward thinking.