Overwhelmed and Overworked

I just got through reading Claraslvr's post. Everyone should visit her blog because it's fantastic. Anyway, Claraslvr, you're not alone. I know how you feel.

I probably wouldn't be feeling this way had I been committing things to prayer in the last week like I should have. But I was frustrated and upset and let those things get to me. I tried to figure things out instead of having the LORD do it. So, my misery today and yesterday are of my own doing and I shouldn't ask Him, "why?" when I know the answer - it's me.

But I can't help but be frustrated. I have a degree and work at the most mindless job ever. And I'm not making squat for it. I have asked for His will and am looking for it... and I know that He will use me wherever it is that I am... but I guess when it comes down to it - I want to feel important. What's the first thing people ask you? "So, what do you do for a living?" We ask this as if it tells you alot about the person you're asking.

My dear friend reminded me last night (and I needed the reminder) that God calls us to be men and women of God. Bottom line. And so long as I'm doing that then I'm doing His will.

So simple - and yet I tend to complicate the simplest of situations. But it's because I'm afraid of the Enemy - the one working against me.

I can see for other people but on things like grad school and work I can't seem to see anything for myself. I'm learning... but it's a slow process. A slow and painful process.

And speaking of other people, I feel that I have 50 people who want my attention and I've only got 24 hours in the day. So I can't spend individual time with every single person. I know B needs to be ministered to but what about me having any time? What about what I need to take care of? It makes me crazy! I feel like butter spread over too much bread...

And there are wonderful things in my life - TREMENDOUS blessings. And I'm very thankful... even though I can't pay for the stupid new set of tires on my car, I'm thankful I have a car. I'm thankful for the roof over my head. I'm thankful for excellent friends and family. But it's hard not to be overwhelmed some days - with the stress of money and whatnot. And looking for a new place to live and how that will pan out... and school and singles group and volleyball practices and games and leadership in general and... the list goes on and on.

So God, help me. I just need help! I need to give you control, I need to have faith. And I need to not worry.

I need to stop trying to please the whole of the world and do what I feel called to do. Or what I feel is right... or whatever. I just need to stop worrying about it. And thing is, is that up until last week I was getting pretty good. I was committing things to prayer everyday and giving it to Him. Last week has completely thrown me for a loop.

So, I'm asking for your prayers - those of you who pray. I'm asking you to pray for what it is I'm supposed to be doing. I'm asking you to pray that I will have peace. I'm asking you pray for my family with the stress of selling the clinic. I'm asking you pray for God's will in my relationships.

Thanks.