Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Pass the credit please... oh sorry! we're fresh out

Have they not been listening for five years? This is what I've been trying to say. This is what I've been trying to express to them. This is the fundamental problem.

And here's another fundamental problem. My family can't communicate. You either get your head torn off or shut out, not listened to. And I'm tired of trying to play mediator. I went home last time exhausted. I tried to mediate and just get people to see both sides, IT'S NOT PERSONAL DAMN IT. But no, we have to make it that way.

And it doesn't matter that I went home last night and cried for a good hour and wrote til my arm and head hurt. Nope. It doesn't matter.

Should anyone take this personally? NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO.

NO.

Are we not, have we not, have I not been raised to be open to what the book says, that churches that preach what the Good Book says are o.k.?????? But now, all of the sudden, it's not. All of the sudden, everything we've been discussing is a moot point.

I'm talking about a bigger issue here, one that has been eating at me since Day One at ACU.

Amanda's (my roommate) father is in Iraq. He is not in the military but he lives on a military base. He told Amanda a story a few weeks ago about how they decided to have church on their base. They're weren't enough people to split up into their set denominations, so the people met and decided to talk about what they all agreed upon. So they did. And they all had church together. And they discovered that they really had alot in common - they weren't as different as they thought.

Isn't this what a church is and should be about? Doing what the Good Book says? When did we become so consumed with our own agendas? Satan's best tool is the church. He does his best work within churches. IT MAKES ME SICK.

You know, my parents are always telling me to "find someone on the same spiritual page as you." But is that what they really want? Are my parents and I on the same spiritual page? I don't think we have been for awhile. And if someone wants to place blame... you can start with good 'ol ACU.

I think I deserve a little more credit than I'm getting right now. I'm not acting like Travis because I have been listening. I HAVE BEEN LISTENING. I do not yell at people at the drop of a hat. I ask questions to clarify the situation to better understand because I want to understand. I love it that my parent's think that I'll run off with the next thing who happens to look my way and has a penis. Good deal. Good. If that were the case... let's see I could have run off with (to name few): Jason, Darren (who is doing mission work as well I might add), Keith, Brandon, Steve and that's just a few at church. Would you like me to name the un-Godly ones? (or wait, maybe I already did) The 52 gillion I meet through work who ask for my number because they think that bangin' me for a night might be fun.

GIVE ME SOME F#$*&#*$ credit here folks.

Didn't get any credit when I was married. Still don't get any now. Gee. Not alot has changed.

4 comments:

Demosthenes said...

Oh my. Not sure if I should comment here (stop typing demo, just stop, stop now, seriously, ah dang, here comes my foot - open wide demo)

There is so much here that depends on the details and I am making a lot of assumptions. So if I am way off in my assumptions, please delete this comment.

I assume for instance, the guy that you are very interested in is not a member of THE Church (sarcasm) and that your family thinks you are rushing into something bad and although they would like to support you and tell you that your divorce wasn't your fault and blah, blah, they unintentionally will use that as a weapon against you when they want to butt in. That sucks, because there is nothing you can do about them. They're your family. Your stuck with them.

As for your sitation with your non church of Christ guy, I have dated outside of my denomination twice (ironically at ACU) and it worked out neither time. It really depends on how willing they are to find common ground. In my case, neither girl would have EVER considered even visiting a church of Christ so that was probably a bad sign.

It all depends on the guy, depends on you. But I will say that my family has an uncanny ability to point out flaws in my relationships or girls I was interested in long before I EVER saw them. So while your family may be ridiculous in the WAY they are going about things, there may be something to the substance of their assertions. But I know it's hard to sift through their attitude to find it.

Scott said...

Now THAT'S a RANT!!!

You should date a mormon for a while - preferably one who has been in prison for having sex with horses. From then on, your family would be happy with WHOMEVER you date ;-)

They'd be saying, "well, at least he isn't mormon!"

Hang in there.

rambouillet said...

Actually, you're the second person Scott to suggest dating a mormon.

rambouillet said...

Honeybee - THANK YOU!